Do you love your neighbor?

Michael Froedge is a native Hoosier and a law clerk to Justice Mark S. Massa of the Indiana Supreme Court. He will clerk next for judges on the U.S. District Court for the Southern District of Indiana and the U.S. Court of Appeals for the Fifth Circuit. He is an alumnus of DePauw University and Indiana University Maurer School of Law in Bloomington. 

“Remember, no man is a failure who has friends.”

With Christmas just behind us, this memorable line from It’s a Wonderful Life seems to be a fitting way to reflect on our class, “Free Speech, Civil Society, and Leadership,” at Purdue University.

Our morning started with an enriching talk from Mitch Daniels. At the outset, I must express my highest appreciation for Mitch. His impact in Indiana has been of seismic proportion. He is a voice of reason in a time of abject confusion. Moral relativism continues to prove itself to be illogical and self-defeating, but he stands among the remnant of leaders who still believes—and defends—objective truth, even in the face of fierce opposition and judgment. His courage is admirable. 

Mitch’s talk set the stage for the day. Three points from this class are worthy of reflection.  

First, relationships are necessary for human flourishing in civil society. They unlock meaning and purpose in our lives. Whether it’s making coffee at church with a team of volunteers, hosting a summer cookout with neighbors, organizing a bowling team with friends, joining the local Rotary Club, or coaching a Little League team, any meaningful human engagement will orient and structure our lives around the good. Without relationships, our lives can freefall into isolation and loneliness. Research shows the “epidemic of loneliness” is one of the most lethal public health threats in America. It has been linked with rising rates of depression, anxiety, and even suicide. In turn, seclusion from human relationships can also increase the specter of dehumanization and contempt of our neighbors. In short, being in community should bind us together, not tear us asunder.

But is that even possible today?

Traditional local communities are collapsing, especially in rural America. Increasingly, people are more transient compared to previous generations and technology continues to filter people into online tribes, where connection is detached and often impersonal. The world is changing, to be sure.

So, how do we satisfy our deep longing for connection? Mitch made a simple recommendation to our class: become geographically rooted for an extended period of time. And, in turn, invest time into cultivating relationships. In other words, turn off the news and check in on your neighbor next door.

In 2020, Mitch gave an address to the graduates of Purdue, where his message continues to be relevant today: “Turn off, tune out, and drop in.” He also shared wisdom from C.S. Lewis, one of the greatest writers of the twentieth century, on the importance of friendship which Lewis described as “the greatest of worldly goods.” In recognizing the outsize value of friendships to the meaning of life, Lewis concluded: “If I had to give a piece of advice to a young man about a place to live, I think I should say, ‘sacrifice almost everything to live where you can be near your friends.’” Mitch agreed. 

Such wisdom is true today. By becoming more rooted in our relationships and communities, we can live a more satisfied life—the good life—and we can build a healthier culture where we live amidst deep difference. On a personal note, I watched Mitch’s address a few years ago, and while I am not a Purdue alumnus, I took his sage advice to heart. It has taken serious effort to build authentic community, but it has been worth it; investing in meaningful relationships is always worth it.

Second, human dignity is the moral foundation of civility. At its core, to be treated with dignity means being considered worthy of respect. Dr. Martin Luther King, in writing his “Letter from Birmingham Jail,” argued that humans share an irreducible, equal moral worth—that is, “the dignity and worth of human personality.” In unpacking this foundational principle from Dr. King’s letter, one of the last speakers in our class, Alexandra Hudson—the author of the recent book, The Soul of Civility: Timeless Principles to Heal Society and Ourselves, said that Dr. King’s letter taught her that human dignity “is the moral foundation of civility.” Thus, to treat others with “decency, dignity, and respect is nonnegotiable, because they are fellow human beings.” If you are interested in learning more about human dignity and its nexus to civility, I would highly recommend Alexandra’s important book.

Third, the discussion of human dignity prompted me to think more deeply about the call in my life to love my neighbor. As a Christian, this command from Christ is the second highest command behind the first: to love God with all my heart, soul, mind, and strength (Mark 12:28-31). That said, questions from others may remain. First, who is your neighbor? Søren Kierkegaard, the nineteenth-century Danish theologian and philosopher, answered that question well: “You can never confuse him with anyone else, since the neighbor . . . is all people.” This principle is radically inclusive: as Christians, we are called to love each person, regardless of race, color, or creed. Thus, there is no limitation to this call. Second, what does it mean to love your neighbor? Put simply, as St. Thomas Aquinas said, love is “the choice to will the good of the other.” In other words, love is not simply a feeling or sentiment, but rather action and deed aimed to maximize the good of another. At the end of class, Cara Putman, Clinical Assistant Professor & Director of the Brock-Wilson Center for Women in Business at Purdue, ascribed meaning to this principle when asked about her leadership philosophy. She said that Christ was the model example in her life because He came to earth “not to be served but to serve” (Matthew 20:28). Thus, to love your neighbor is to serve them for their good.

I left class further inspired to invest in relationships and practice civility with each person because of their immeasurable dignity and worth. I also left deeply moved by the call to love my neighbor, which requires placing my “service before self” for their ultimate good. The answer to most of our problems as a society is not more politics, which is downstream from culture. We simply need more charity and compassion as humans who bear the imago Dei. We can redeem culture as agents of love. It will take time, effort, and grace—lots of grace—but we can heal what is broken one day at a time. 

Let’s get to work.